11.24.2011

nomad.

wandering.
an idea of where i belong, i have not one.
at times things get so fuzzy; surreal.
life; a mystery that i am not sure i have to desire to unlock.
with the life that i live i have no choice but to live life by the moment.
no time for petty arguments or worries. today could be my last.
family and friends; they are few and far between.
no time for other people's bullshit. today could be my last.
opportunity is before me.
no time for doubt. today could be my last.


11.09.2011



The respect I once had for my father has graduated to fear and settled at disdain. I used to want to have everything to do with my father. Then, I just wanted to stay on his good side. Now, I can barely even stomach his presence.


"How did we get here?" I often times ask myself. Once daddy's little girl and now enemy of the state. Sometimes I wish I could blame myself just for the sake of having answer to this question I once lost sleep over, but I can no longer let this issue plague me. I know for fact I am not at fault for the dormant status of the relationship between my father and I, and he's just as confident that I am.


So what do you do when push comes to shove? Blink ... You can change your situation just that swiftly. In the blink of an eye you could lose it all, so it's best not to dwell. I dwelled for sooooo long on this situation to the point where I ran out of thoughts. So, now, I just live. Maybe one day he'll see the light, but until then I'll just have to follow my own light. It's sad to say, but I just can't be worried about that shit. I love my father with all that I have ten fold, but NO ONE will bring me down!


"You got two options; hold me down or slow me down. & if you choose the second, well then you won't be round!" - Lito