If you ask me ...

When I get here, I'm never really sure how. I suppose this place is born from points in time which I think too much. "Think too much?" You say. Yes. Too much. Any human being can relate to what I'm about to say about this place and my theory of how I get here.
Everything has a trigger. Nothing happens out of pure spontaneity. I'm sitting here wondering why I get in these moods and feel the way that I do right now, and I always conclude that I had been thinking too much. Not necessarily about the wrong things, but those that are right.
Lately I've been so heavily plagued by thoughts of where I should be in life. I should be graduating college and paying my car note and insurance. Instead, I'm just working, and that scares me..I don't want to be one of those people that HAVE to work until the day that they die in order to live. Growing up, and even now, I have such great aspirations. Although, I've been never been able to pinpoint what it was I will be great at, I know I'll be great.
Some times I just feel like I'm meant for something so much more than I can currently fathom. Problem is, I haven't the slightest idea what that could be. However, quite honestly, I think it's best that I don't know. Life is no fun when you plan it. A general outline and majorly winging it feels so much better.
At the age of 23 there are a lot of things that I could be, yet am not. I could be dead, in jail, strung out, homeless or the mother of several children fathered by just as many men. I've been placed in all types of positions that you as an outsider would presume that I would have never been in, let alone made it out of. This here, is enough for me not to stress. To say life is a test would be so cliche, yet true. If I weren't fit for this world I wouldn't be here.
I'll turn the pages of the story of my life whenever I see fit. But right now, there's something I need to do.
Love me.
I need to remember that everyday of my struggle is that much more of a reason why I deserve things greater than thou. It's necessary that I remind myself that I am worthy of the Love, Honor and Respect of anyone who is willing to give it to me, and even those who refuse it.
"You is kind, You is smart, You is important."

Ecstasy

It's like, ecstasy, when you're next to me.
& this feelin that I feel is so complex ya see.
No I, don't wanna cuff, it's just lust it seems.
I could live my whole life wit ya lovin.
Free.
Ya sex is more than a session to me.
It's like a journey to my soul and we eject at sea.
Our, climax is so surreal. Unjust and freeeeee.
I Love It.