adele - chasing pavements .

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust
I know this is love
But, if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
'cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you

[Chorus]
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waitin' as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it

[Chorus]
Or should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep on chasin' pavements
Should I just keep no chasin' pavements
Ohh oh

[Chorus x2]

pac joints .

these are just a few of my favorite songs by tupac . i adore him as an artist of many abilities <3

hit em up .

i get around .



ambitionz as a ridah .

california love .

keep ya head up .

do for love .

<3

Seems like I think the world of you, which is too much if you ask anybody else. But you wanna know the difference between my opinion and theirs? Well for one theirs doesn't count either way you spin it, but other than that, they just don't know you like I do. They don't know what you do for me - what we do for one another.
We seem to have this magnetism for one another that can't be denied. I don't know how this happened, but in all honesty I'm over trying to figure it out. But in a good way. Sometimes the search for explanation can ruin the prize, and just between you and I I think I'll pass on that. Why ruin something so sweet and fulfilling? I'm very aware of the risks I'm taking by indulging in such an experience and I'm fine with that.

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero - Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow. I could sit here and cling to my past filled with repetitive failed attempts at love, but there's one simple reason why I can't and won't do it; this isn't an attempt. This cloud that we tend to float on seems to have been waiting for us. Waiting for us to find one another and float in bliss. That's what it's starting to feel like - bliss. Something so comfortably unexplainable couldn't be anything more or less.

i think my foolish pride may become my suicide

it makes no sense that im here right now

not to me anyway ..

& even though this is MY issue ,

i can't help but blame you

this just aint me ..

i don't think so anyway .

perhaps this is just me with you ..

well , on you really .

it's .. this .. you're more like a drug .

so yeah i blame YOU !

yehhhh YOU !

who am i kidding ...

i jumped in no safety net ,

now my face is a wreck .

they tell me " smile babygirl it aint that bad ! "

bad ?

bad is when you disobey your parents .

bad is failing a test you studied for .

bad is ..

this aint bad - hell it aint even worse .

this ?

this is rad

more so than the movement itself .

& you expect my feelings to simply be shelfed ?

well i thought of better my damn self !

how bout i take you & put YOU on a shelf ?!

i wonder what it is you keep tellin yaself ?

Fuck

what do i keep tellin myself ?

hearts screamin ! - keeps yellin !

i can't even hear myself !

& to think , i thought love and happiness were two words synonomous to themselves .

but you're right ya know - maybe this isn't good for our health .

because ultimately - we're just fighting ourselves .

i wore you like a crown - my sweeet PRIDE

so i guess the blames on my side ...

emotionally insecure while remaining secure ? thats impossible . for so long i had convinced myself that i was secure ; in both my person and my emotions . but , as a woman i am controlled by my emotions , whatever the emotion , whatever the situation . isn't it obvious ? before i even know im upset  mt face is engulfed in flames ; before i can feel my sorrow , my eyes precipitation has told the world ; & even before i am vengeful , my genius is already churning .

to come to this realization is means .. a lot . anybody who knows me knows that i am one strong mothafucka . ive been through so much . but what they dont know or see is that i have not always been this way . once sheltered and scared of the world i had nothing more than fear and ignorance . but , after battling so long to defend myself against my past , i find myself embodying the enemy .

i dunno . i guess what im trying to say is that people will never know who you are until you tell them . there are many people in my life who believe they know me oh so well , but in reality , me along with about three other people in my life know so well , that they can literally tell me about myself .

my person is so underdeveloped and unequipped for this world . when i think this , i think about all the things i can do to better my life and my person . and the truth is , i dont know . but who does ? who really know exactly what they are supposed to do in life to make it ? NOBODY . for 22 years ive done this trial and error thing and ive come to the conclusion it will never be over , and i am perfectly fine with that . to map out life with the perfect plan or any plan is boring and useless .

idk .. judge me or judge me not - im just writing whats on my mind .

Mac Miller - Another Night

for real though

i wrote this a couple of years ago about a man who came and went in my life , and i allowed to do so .

reading this reminds me of all the reason i never wanna fall in love again - too risky .

at times i wish i were naive enough to believe what you say

for your words of redemption to silence my insecurities

my heart to triumph over my mind

& my soul to flow in bliss

.. but ignorance isnt as blissfull as it seems .

yehehhh .

i neva been too good at speakin my thoughts ;
cant really ask my friends , because they dont know about this .
so i decided to write this letter instead ,
and let my thoughts bleed through this pen .

dear homie/luvahh/friend ,

hell i dont even know where to begin .
well , livin in this life of sin
sometimes its hard to tell where it begins , and where it ends
aye - im obsessed with the way our love transcends
been in since the beginnin and i dont wanna see this end .

dear homie/luvahh/friend ,

with the pedal to the medal , im tryna stick by you
the past is the past and thats where it'll stay
just dont take your love away !
& though it may sound trite ,
with a love so real and so right
it seems to be causing a fight .
the mind will never understand the battles of the heart ,
but the blame is not your part .
i just want you to know you have my heart !
& you as well take it if you choose to depart ..
i promise to protect your heart , because this here is OUR fresh start .

dear homie/luvahh/friend ,
the end .

trippin ;)

i wanna take a trip
would you allow me to swim around in your thoughts ?
- you intrigue me .
can i tickle you aspirations ?
- so determined .
would you mind if i dove into your distant memories ?
- see i just wanna know what to fix .
now can i kiss your intellect ?
- so sweet .
i just wanna now .. can i ?

<3

more .

& if im jealous - you'll never know it
but of course my pride wont let me show it
so i sit here as if i were a poet ..
and think of all the ways i could show it
but thats not what we're here for
- to settle the proverbial score
when we set it all aside and its just - you & i -
aint nothin they can do ta me
for you i withstand the scrutiny
for you is what this used to be
for some reason , i can feel your soul shining through ta me
back then id acted so stupidly
understand this is all new to me
and still its not feeling i can ignore
but here and now , with you i wanna explore
i wanna see if this feeling of legitimacy is something more .

vessel .

i pick up my pen , and this is what happens ..
EVERYtime ..
- " writers block "
who came up with this shit anyway ?
wait - am i even a " writer " ?
of what is  writer composed ?
a pen , pad and  couple thoughts ?
b/c thats honestly all ive got .
i dont sit here and think and plot
i really just sit here and jot
.. whatever comes to mind .
and when im done - the pen just .. drops .
no need to persue something that simply is not .
but like i said - i dont have much
so i give it what i got
a little bit of love - and a lotta bit of pain
few of my hearts drops
and THIS is what i got .

.. guess it wasnt writers block .

authentic .

i see right through you ..
you aint rappin nothin new !
but see i got somethin fa YOU .
while you sittin there wit ya pride in  sling and ya heart upstream ,
im tryna live out these dreams - dont you see ?
man - you doin what THEY do and that just aint US
see now everybody got a new breed
and we the prototype !
the make ya mad cause we livin life type ;)
now you know they just talkin right ?
cause imma need you to see the light !
aint it lonely in the dark ?
i bet thats whole stole ya heart ..
THEM .
them nay sayers and no brainers ....
but check - its a no brainer
what you doin over there ?
come join the party cause we livin it UP
no drop top baby
straight twistin em up ;)
on a curve no breaks just livin it uuuup !

greetings .

inhalation is my current concentration

sittin on a cloud sendin you my salutations

i said to you come on - but see you be hesitatin

& while you concentratin on ya current situation

im GONE - to a secret location

no up , no downs .. just a couple clouds around .

i - pack the bowl with no hesitation
gotta get high before i hit this plantation
no shame in my ways cause i prefer my sanity
call me madd hatter cause they all mad at her
snapbacks ta the side like " daaaamn look at her " ;)
my attitude is potent and everybody knows it
but they gather round as if i smelled like ROSES
- or better yet dosha
a familiar scent to some , yet a stank odor to others
i show my ass cause they dont wanna see the rest of me .

** disclaimer - i was just foolin on the wake and bake w/this one