i .. i .. *sigh*

Sometimes when I think about you I feel as if I could cry . I think of the love that I have for you & realize that I'm scared as fuck to lose you .. And even more scared that this is all a sham and these feelings we claim as mutual are in all actuality one sided .

See the thought of loving you brings a smile to my face , but to HEAR YOU SAY those three words does so much more for me . Heart skips a beat , my forehead perspires .. it's so intense .
I've accepted the fact that at the end of the day I can end up looking like the straight fool , but ONLY because me , myself , and I have accepted that fact that these feelings are true and genuine . It's funny when I think about it , but I really had to have a conversation with myself to come to this conclusion .
I don't know what I'm trying to say , other than I Love You .

this shit RIGHT HERE nigga !?

i dont know not ONE pothead or so called smoker who hasnt heard this song .

it was the first song i had ever heard by boosie when i FIRST began my relationship with mary j .

i havent looked back ever since <3

FREE BOOSIE

the problem

* i always love what wale has to say . he's always spittin knowledge . i would really like to meet and converse with him someday .. about ANYthing . the lyrics below are from his first verse on The Problem

This is a ? but a mere portion of a semi-important life

Far from a complaint, but a mere look at the present showin you the changes that I made

The proverbial lemonade that I made

I made my mistakes, you see life's lemons often times come in a abundance,

In conjunction with the pressure that we're under

Underrated some would say, hated, and some say it's the things I say or how I say em.

And I admit, in this race I tend to struggle to relay them words

It's like I'm an alien who alienates by the herd, so as far as being heard

I guess I gotta wait, deprived by the station's eye

Wale, more times than not, am not for whom the air waves

Thank God for the free thinkers, for you keep me in mind,

In this state of mind that I'm in, for you keep me in the race with the baton that yall give

And they hype beat, street wear, Versace and Vuitton that I'm in

And really don't matter unless yall comin with

No days off, may we rip the face of the whole game off,

I'm gon say it to yall, I'm gonna put my faith in yall when I don't understand me

They say I'm runnin hip-hop but I'd rather unify with yall then stampede

And lastly for everybody who doubted I can't live without you, please

Continue to inspire the fire that is my re-dedication to greatness yall

Paint a picture to A.D. to freestyles to famous songs we out 'chere

Unforgettable gestures, unmeasurable effort, to pleasure the masses with impeccable work ethic

Let's get it, I go hard, no days off

When You Find ;)

speaks for itself ... 

regret

and .. even though we not talkin,
i dont wanna close the coffin.
ta be honest this shit is exhaustin.
- swear i go through this too often.
heart pumpin head racin
got my mind in a million places
so gone..so gone
wait what type of shit are you on?
get me here and the next minute you gone?
the fuck is goin on?!
done put you on a throne
shit i even put you ON!
you're not the person i met....
i can't believe you've become something i regret .
and though it's for the best, i guess i just wasn't ready yet ..
i mean .. for the regret

got ya

a love like this
i didn't ask for ..
that of which pours from my pores .
a love like this -
i can't say ive been waiting for ..
but i can't say it's easy to ignore .
a love like this
gives me so much more ..
a myriad - a plethora .. a score
of emotions - emotions to explore .
a love like this
could make one unsure .. is this pure ?
a love like this -
that of which consumes you , your thoughts .. your being .
a love like this ..
my heart beats for ..
a love like this i no longer look for .

fck what you talkin bout o_O

the city disappears under the clouds & moments later it reappears full scale, birds eye view. my ears pop, frog in my throat .. this is it. & all im thinkin is 'damn i shoulda peed and grabbed some starbucks before i hopped on this fckn flight' haha. i shed not a single tear, but the baby on the flight didn't think twice -__- for what though? shed tears for a new beginning ? not at all, im ecstatic! for so long ive lived my life as an unhappy person and i couldn't figure out what the problem was. was it me ? yeap ! i always made decisions based on what everyone else's reaction would be, or how my decision may affect the next person. & ever so approriately wale's ambitious girl shuffles onto my ipod .. ive got ambitions bigger than the eye can see. ya see ? this move is something i have to do for ME. i don't really give a fuck ya know? parents tried ta talk down about the possibilities w/o realizing that i am very aware of the possible negative outcomes, but im so over thinking about the negative. with this change in my life i plan to change many different things, starting with this : i am fully focused on the positive. it's obvious that bullshit is ever so graciously calculated into our lives at an upsetting sum, but how can we ever be happy and focus on the have's as opposed to the have not's, if we so willingly overwhelm ourselves with the negative? that sounds like bad math in my book.
anyhow, what im basically sayin is lets make a toast to change - not that bullshit change folks be TALKIN about - a change to vow to. fuck a new years resolution, there's too many damn days in a year to just aim for one goal - pshhhht. this change is for me, you, and everybody else whos scared to make a change. #iSaluteYou ! *sips flight apple juice* PEACE