2.28.2014

Empathetic

As time slips through the hour glass I lay in bed, eyes wide shut. Not so gracefully attempting to escape tomorrow and what it will bring. Avoiding sleep like responsibility. Thinking a little about a lot.
I don't know why I do this. Manifesting self as my own worst enemy. How long have I been here? How do I free myself of the animosity I've felt for the things I could have, and maybe should have done differently, irregardless of the implied lesson learned? Am I a self loathing?
If I could map out each point in life at which I lost a little of my being I'd probably go insane. Looking at he evidence of my issue. The evidence that is me. I think I've denied myself the privilege of empathy and supplemented with self apathy when it was most applicable. I've never wanted pity, but I overlooked the healing powers of the comfort you get from someone giving a fck about something that isn't them. I grew up quick. This big girl still cries.
I read a post on Tumblr once that gave a totally different take on the glass half empty/full thing that's had me thinking for some weeks now. It said something alone the lines of, 'Hold the glass out in front of you at arms length. Wether the glass is half empty or full, it only gets heavier the longer you hold it there in place.' I'm the water in the glass. I was lite and hopeful at once.
I should probably put the glass down and switch arms.
Goodnight.

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